Watercolor Artwork- Ben's "don't spend money on me" Birthday Present

This past week was my hubby's birthday and
 I'm just now getting around to posting about it! (soooo busy.)
I was told to spend no money on presents for him...
I PARTIALLY listened.. ;)


We all got down on the floor and colored him a birthday banner to come home too.. 
sienna was of course trying to rip the paper and eat it. typical. this girl tries to eat everything. sophia was never really like that...my mom said I finally have a normal baby. ;)

I had been wanting to have sophia paint with watercolors...and thought it would be the perfect crafty diy birthday present! she LOVED painting..and I was so impressed with how "artsy" some of hers turned out!
I chose two to frame.. and the rest were saved to show daddy. :)
Sienna even got into it..I painted her sweet little chubby hands 
and pressed them down for some cute prints. 
And of course sophia had to paint her hands then too....;)

I ran by Ikea and got some inexpensive frames.
I'm so happy with how they turned out..

The birthday boy loved his presents!
We had a little get together with friends the day after his birthday.
It was going to be a cook out/picnic at the park..with bball for the guys/dads and the playground for the kids. but all of a sudden a huge storm came through (weatherman=fail) so we did a quick clean(hide) and had everyone over to our place instead. it was fun! and luckily the rain let up and we all went outside in the end to play!

I love you ben.

You are such a such a wonderful daddy to our girls.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!

The truth needs to be told: The details of Shannon's EXECUTION.

This is my best friend...it is very hard to read. But we all need to share her story.. Just today someone e-mailed me and said because of shannon's story, they called the police on a domestic violence situation they had been too afraid to interfere with before.

CHANGE is possible. 

PREVENTION is possible.

And I for one, want to be a part of this.

My mom said something perfect to me today on the phone..i needed to cry to someone and she listens and helps...she said that shannon would be so proud of me..and that we are a team..she in heaven and me here..and we can work together to make change.
I cried. We ARE a team.

I can only hope that even just a handful of my readers will be touched by her story and take action to help other women like her..to prevent..to pray for those who feel they do not have the strength.to speak up for those who are too afraid to speak..

Below is the comment left by Shannon's Dad,

in response to the article on the 

court date for the man who killed her.

"The story is not about the elder erdman's emotional ranting as written in the referenced article above; it was that finally the public gets to know the facts of how Shannon died. Self defense? She was executed while lying on the ground, after being hit with two debilitating shots in the hip and the shoulder, with the children present! "He loved the kids."?? Sure, he loved them so much he brutally murdered their mother at a scheduled custody swap, threw her in the back of his pickup truck like a trophy deer carcass and went to drop off the kids to his mommy and daddy while her blood dripped out of the back of the truck bed on the driveway as he left the parking lot of the scene of the crime. Then he took the body to a hospital an hour later instead of calling police immediately at the scene. This was the testimony cited today in court by the Milton Police Dept. of the events of that day.

Why is the news not reporting the heinous nature of this crime? This was not a lover’s “spat”; this was an execution.

Further, the Protective Consent Order clearly states supervised visitation in it's own titled paragraph. And this guy thinks it was "optional"? The paragraph they cited in court was about "Transportation"; it says the parents "may" be involved. Obviously, someone should have been involved, as even the elder erdman admitted in his testimony. He says, "I just don't know", but his face was laden with regret. That is the type of reporting that should be done.

---"We must work to warn others that this can happen to them. People need to know the details now, to fully understand the extent of the pain the family has been in and to heed the warnings of this story for others in her situation, as well as for the judges on the bench."-Shannon's Dad, Randy

THE ARTICLE he is referencing:

via cantonsixes-patch by Don Plummer

"Despite pleas for his release by his mother and father, a 25-year-old Cumming man charged in the June 5 shooting death of a Canton womanwas denied bond today in Fulton County Superior Court.

Christopher M. Erdman will remain in the Fulton County Jail until at least Aug. 10 when Judge Karen Woodson set his next court date.

Erdman is charged with felony murder, aggravated assault and possession of a firearm in the commission of a felony in the death of his children's mother, 25-year-old Shannon Lawrence. Woodson dismissed two felony child cruelty counts after prosecutors could not present conclusive evidence that the couple’s two children had been present during the shooting.

During a lengthy hearing attended by the parents, family and friends of Erdman and Lawrence, defense attorney Stanley Constant sought to bolster Erdman’s contention that he shot Lawrence in self defense after she attacked him with a six-inch knife in the parking lot of a bank in Milton.

Police detective Sgt. CS Barstow testified that about 1:45 p.m. a witness called 911 and said when he heard four gunshots he looked out the window of a church building and saw a “white male with red hair with blood on his forearms picking up a sandal and putting it in a white truck.”

About an hour later police were notified that Erdman and his father had arrived at the emergency room of Northside Hospital-Forsyth in Cumming with Lawrence’s body, Barstow said. Lawrence had been shot four times, Barstow said.

Spent rounds from two shots fired into Lawrence’s left cheek were found embedded in the pavement of the parking lot, he said.  Barstow said the evidence is consistent with those shots being fired after Lawrence was lying on the ground.

Questioned by police at the hospital Erdman’s father, Michael H. Erdman, said his son told him that Lawrence had attacked his son with a knife, but he refused to tell officers where the children, saying only “they were safe,” Barstow said. The elder Erdman would not say anything further when taken to Milton Police headquarters for questioning, Barstow said.

Testifying today Michael Erdman said his son and Lawrence had periodic “spats” during the years they lived with him.

But despite court-issued restraining orders filed in 2010 and 2011, Michael Erdman said his son loved Lawrence and his children.

“He loved those kids,” Michael Erdman said. “Next to Shannon those kids were number one in his life.”

The couple's children are Emma Catherine Marie Erdman, who turned three on June 25 and Peter, who turned one the day before his mother’s funeral.

Under cross examination by Assistant District Attorney Jack Barrs, Erdman said he believed a provision of an April court order that the children’s grandparents supervise visits and exchanges of the children was optional.

Erdman said both sets of grandparents initially attended the swaps, but stopped participating after several incidents of discord between his son and Lawrence’s mother and father.

"I just don't know if that would have happened if I had been there," Erdman said. "I just don't know.""

MY THOUGHTS:

Ben and I were talking recently about losing Shannon..and domestic violence. and our conversation helped me think through things. When bad things like this happen..many people question why God lets it happen...but it is an example of how He doesn't force us to love Him..that he lets us choose Him. So there will be those who do not choose to love Him in our world and do not love others..people that are jealous and cruel and turn from how God wants us to live...after all of this...I wondered where i'm supposed to go from here?? Hearing more details of Shannon's murder made it very difficult. Last night my chest, my heart,  was just tight and burning. it just..hurt. and it wouldn't go away. But I guess I'm supposed to choose now what I will do... And I choose to respond to God's love...by loving God back. Thank you Shannon for bringing this to the front of my mind. For reminding me that through my actions each day...I am able to show God I choose to love Him. Please pray for me dear Shannon. my sweet friend and sister. That I might live this choice to the fullest. even when It seems impossible. I'm crying..but only because I miss you soooooo much..You are not suffering anymore..God has you in His arms. I love you. I miss you.

To read all posts related to Shannon you can click here.
Please share her story..donate if you can.
If you have been touched by her story and would like to 
visit her Memorial Page you can visit here. 

Please Pray for peace in our world 
and for all those affected by Domestic Violence.

Today- Court day for the Murderer of my Best Friend

I had another post for today..

but this is on my heart.

Wishing I could be in atlanta with everyone in the courtroom. 

It's hard being so far away. 

I want to hug everyone..just be there strong together.

not feeling strong today on my own. crying at each update text my sister sends.

We love and miss you Shannon..Today I just feel so deeply everything that we felt since the day we lost you. you will forever be in our hearts. may we love like you loved..and have faith and forgiveness like you did.
You will forever be my best friend..my guardian angel. 

praying for healing..peace forgiveness and faith. 

I don't know what to feel today.. but trying to not feel hate.

and trying to be strong for my girls.
photo credits: cloud, note

One day I will be able to think back on shannon and not cry but be happy..but today i'm not feeling that strong. I don't even want to believe that I'm writing this about my best friend.. it's too sad. I find myself shaking my head "no" when I think about how she is gone..I know everything in my heart of how I should "deal" with this..but my heart is just so broken today. I just put sienna down for her nap...and as I was standing and swaying sienna back and forth.. singing twinkle twinkle..I just started crying as I sang..I'm so sad for Shannon's babies. And that Shannon could not hold them one more time.

Emma, you usually were the star of our conversations.. whenever i talked to your mommy it was about you and my sophia and how much we loved you sweeties! She will always be your guardian angel..loving you from above. I love you too. and I'll always be here for you.. with photos and videos and letters.. I will give them all to you..so you can see just how amazing your mommy was.

But In my heart I know that I am closer..we are all closer..to shannon up in Heaven. My mom just reminded me of that on the phone. I can talk to her whenever I want. She can work little miracles for us from above. She will be felt in the lives of her children..She has already touched so many lives and they will be able to see the amazing person that their mother was by the legacy she has left behind.

Dear Jesus, please give me peace..help me to remember the joyful beautiful person that shannon was..and not how she was cruelly taken from us. Bring peace to my heart and all of those who mourn her. Give us strength to forgive..help us to trust in You..

Shannon's dad recently sent me a message..and I told him how it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear at the time. I think that a lot of people need to hear this too..so I don't think he would mind if I shared.

"Natalie, seek Christ in the Eucharist for your healing; go to Adoration more often. Kneel in front of our Blessed Mother and ask her to hold you up. I feel your pain of this; I know how horrible it feels to think of how she died. I feel it every second of every day. It is the worst. But .... we must stay healed for our families. The Holy Spirit puts peace in us to help us heal. Pray and listen. It will happen. It doesn't mean you loved Shannon less to be in peace and less pain. It means you know her soul is secured in heaven; her main goal of this world. The pain we feel is ....well .... selfish at times, as it is what we wanted for ourselves with her, to witness the life and love that we loved to see from her. It is the greatest loss of all. Yet, her love is still here with us in each of us through the connected love of Jesus. The best we can do now is emulate what she did to emulate Christ's love to everyone. I love you for being so much for her in her life. She loved and admired you like the sister she didn't have."

please lift up prayers for all of us during this hard day. praying for peace in our hearts, strength to forgive and an increase in faith and hope.



If you would like to read details from 
the court room today you can read this article. 
very hard to read..
but I needed to know what was said.


To read all posts related to Shannon you can click here.

Please share her story..donate if you can.

If you have been touched by her story and would like to 

visit her Memorial Page you can visit here.

Please Pray for peace in our world 

and for all those affected by Domestic Violence.

My Favorite Alfredo Sauce Recipe

I was looking for a basic white sauce to use and immediately fell in love with the Pioneer Woman's Alfredo Sauce Recipe. Most of the white sauces I used before started with a rouge..butter and flour mixture..and I never liked how they turned out.. but this one is perfectly amazing. 


This recipe was a great way for me to jazz up some inexpensive pasta. I already had the cream and parmesan(bottled variety) and a way for me to use up my produce before it goes bad! hence..a delicious budget friendly recipe for my family. And definitely cheaper than a meal out. 

This is a great basic sauce to be able to whip together!
**I'm marking the changes I made for our taste-buds. ;)

ALFREDO SAUCE INGREDIENTS:

1 stick Butter (*I put in 3/4th of stick and it was tasty!)

1 cup Heavy Cream (*didn't put this much..added in some fat free milk)

salt and pepper to taste

2 cups Parmesan Cheese (* I didn't want that much zip..so I only put in 1 1/2 cups TOPS..but once I made it with this much and the hubs loved it.)

You can use this sauce on a variety of pasta combinations..I most recently used it on thin spaghetti with chicken and spinach. yummy. It's also AMAZING on your pasta of choice with bacon and peas.

 mmmm....so good.

Not the healthiest meal...

but throw in a vegetable and you'll feel better about yourself. ;)

A very easy meal...

--throw some water on to boil.

--grill up some chicken

--blanch some spinach for a minute or so..

--mix it all together!

SAUCE INSTRUCTIONS:

-In a saucepan or skillet, warm butter and cream.

-Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper.

-Pour in Parmesan cheese(fresh or not..whatever you have!)

-Stir together

-Pour the cheesy amazingness over your pasta!

You'll feel very giada de laurentiis.

Lately I've been enjoying trying new basic recipes that I can add to my list of things I can make easily.

I'll be sure to share more of my favorite recipes..Because if you are like me..you are always looking for something new and tasty to try out when feeding your family! or just yourself. :)

DIY Pop-Up Invite for The Girls' Storybook Princess Party

My Sophia asked for a princess party..sort of. She really is up for anything..and I suggested that..a long with a few other ideas..and she jumped all over the princess idea!  I wanted to make it a bit more special and unique..so i'm going with a story book/fairy tale feel for the princess theme. I wanted to jazz up the typical pink princess party...i'm really excited with how it's coming together! :)

I came up with the idea of doing a pop up card...to give the feel of one of those sweet children's books..

and I wanted to give the guests a little sample of what the party would be like! So check out the tutorial below of how the invite came together..

It was easy, fun and crafty! You and your kiddos would love this project.

These directions are for a story book princess party invitation! but you could use the general idea to fit into any theme. A cute and fun DIY craft! This type of card would also be perfect as a get well card or thank you card! You could use the same idea for any of the holidays and end up with something super cute.  Hope this Pop-Up Cad Tutorial gets you inspired!

STEP ONE: Gather supplies

---Double sided tape

---Scissors

---Print outs(or you could use 

card stock/regular paper and draw by hand):

*Cover(regular paper)

*Inside Page(card stock)

*Pop Out Graphic(card stock)

*Map (optional)

STEP TWO: Cut out all of the pieces.

I created my design in Photoshop..but you could easily do something in word or even by hand if you don't have that program!

STEP THREE: Fold the inside card stock paper
(the one with your wording) and your cover in half at the same time (helps with lining them up in the end..trust me..).....
then cut two slits as shown in the page with the wording. 
open the paper back up and push out your little square.
fold the card again to get the crease nice and sharp.

I created my wording with space in the middle for the pop up!
Not sure where to put your wording? just cut out a sample for you to go by.

STEP FOUR: Attach your cut out 
with double sided tape.
open and close.
do a happy dance.
and feel all proud of your crafty self.

STEP FIVE: Time to attach the cover 
This is to hide your slits you made on the card stock paper.
I used double sided tape in each corner to attach it..glue stick was too messy. Just set it up like it's ready to go and then just open a corner at a time to place the tape. soo easy that way.

This is how i made up my design...
I put a line of color down the middle for easy folding.

taaa daaa. cuteness.

I wanted to create a little sneak peek into what we will be doing at the party..so on the invitation I wrote out directions to get to their princess castle...and included a map I made up for them to follow along with! I felt it was very storybook-ish. 
Sophia makes me read this to her a few times a day..every time I get a bit more into character haha. you are totally missing out. I should video tape my amazing story telling....or not. ;)

each of the places on the map 
are a special area at the party..
I'll be sharing all of those details over 
the weeks leading up the party!
All budget friendly..DIY..party fun!

I picked up some bright yellow envelopes from Staples. 
I believe they were $7 for 50. perfect!

Sophia likes to open 
and read the invitation...
then put it all back in!
Seeing her love it so much makes me excited for the details I am coming up with for the party itself. She and Sienna are my world..I love making their birthdays special!

Victims of Domestic Violence Being Blessed by our Late Shannon

Shannon, each day I find you in little moments. through e-mails of other women experiencing domestic violence..through a deeper appreciation for the consecration at Mass, the moment when heaven meets earth and we are united again..in moments with my girls when I have a million things to do but just put it aside and spend time with them... In the thoughts of the reality of heaven...how much more real it seems to me now that I can picture someone I love there....I think of you and am encouraged by you. I can feel you working in my life. You are a blessing to me. I miss you every day. And every day I can see how you are making me a better wife, mom, daughter, woman. Love you girl.

The messages and comments have continued to come in..

amazing messages of hope prayers and love..... 

for shannon..for her family..for me and all of those who mourn her.

They always seem to pop up on my phone at the most ideal moments..

the times when I need that prayer the most. 

One e-mail recently touched my heart in such an amazing way..I asked this young woman if I could share it....

For privacy I will call her Laura. She is a 27 yr old mother of two. (3 and 1 yr old)

They are her life. She sent me photos and she is BEAUTIFUL..and her two little ones are so sweet.

"Hi.....You dont know me, but you are changing my life...
I'm originaly brazilian and i live in Paris.
I have been in the midle of domestic violence, 

my husband is very nervous and get stress very easy..
I never did go to the police because i was affraid, i'm not in my country and i have two babys and he always said that he would take the kids out of me since he is french...
After read your blog and the history about your friend (i'm really sorry!) 

i decided to go the police and i did!
Now i'm looking for a full time job to be able to go out of this place, here in France they have lots of help for womans in my situation but only after she leave the place...
So i wanna to thank you and share with you a little bit of my history, its really dificult to face this, its ofensive, the last time he did slap me while i had my baby in my arms, fortunatly he didnt get hurt.
Thank you again and a big hug
-Laura"

She also passed a long this note to Shannon's Family....

"I'm here very far but believe i'm hurt by her lost too, i think that she is in a good place close to God, i know you dont know me but her history touch me and my life and made me do something that i feel i was incapable, so she is doing good things already. Please count on me for everything you need, with the kids and i will everyday pray for her."

When I first read this e-mail...I just felt so proud of her for taking that first step...and this amazing sense of peace and just...joy. joy that shannon's life and story were affecting people even after she is gone. That she was the motivation that this young woman needed to make that step. Shannon is doing amazing things from heaven..we all knew that..we all said it..but to get a concrete example sent to me in my inbox..wow..It felt like Shannon was like "pst. natalie..girl..i'm ok..and you're going to be ok..and other people are going to be ok! we can do this together.." It might sound crazy. But it was such a consolation. I wrote back "Laura" and expressed to her how her e-mail made me feel. And how I was going to pray for her and her family. I told her how this was the first step in her journey to a beautiful new life. And how she is going to be an amzing example of a woman to her little ones and those around her.

If one thing can come from Shannon's death....I hope that Women can see their amazing worth. Shannon was able to see that in the end. He might have taken her life.. but she had taken that step to free herself from him and his control. She saw the beautiful woman she was..deserving of love and respect.

I hope this young woman's e-mail

 inspires you and encourages you. 

As I'm writing this I just received a comment on a previous post..from a woman who was touched by shannon's story and has been thinking about it ever since she first read it...and is going to do something for a local women's shelter in honor of shannon..

thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Please continue to pray for Shannon and her family.

I'm not sure what you believe in..but I believe that we all have a plan..God has incredible things in mind for us! 
And as long as we are open to Him he can use us as His hands and feet.
I started this blog to celebrate motherhood...
not sure of what would come of it and my musings! 

only God knew that it would end up being an outlet of 
such support and community for me during this difficult time. 
It has helped me so much sharing here..and I'm happy that we have

connected as women in a deep way. 
How amazing that a brazilian woman living in paris read shannon's story
 and it helped her to make that first step towards being free of domestic violence. 
If nothing else...My blog was for her! that she could read that post.

God knows.

Thinking about the big picture...
helps me to not dwell on the little struggles of the day.

 Like potty training a 2 yr old... she peed all over the floor...twice.

 or when I go to pour some water from the brita filter 

and it had just been filled up...thus spilling ALL over the floor. 

or being bitten and chewed on by a teething 10 month old. 

or just not having a moment to breathe let alone not be touched.

or cleaning a room only to have it de-cleaned by the babies at my feet..

it all seems perfectly wonderful.. when you look at the big picture. :)
..............................................................................
To read all posts related to Shannon you can click here.
Please share her story..donate if you can.
If you have been touched by her story and would like to 
visit her Memorial Page you can visit here. 

Please Pray for peace in our world 
and for all those affected by Domestic Violence.