Grieving during the Holidays

This was the first Thanksgiving since we lost Shannon.

I had a conversation with my mom about grief..

I always felt sadness when I would hear a sad story...

or news of someone I know losing someone they love.. 

But now that I have felt grief like this first hand, I feel so much deeper for anyone else grieving.

I know the sadness that can sometimes just overwhelm you and how you sometimes can know all the positive aspects to look at the situation..but still just need a moment to..be sad.

The positives in Shannon's ....she is in heaven..she is safe.. her babies are safe..her story has already encouraged and motivated other women to leave the abuse and protect themselves..help women realize their value and how deserving they are of real love.

I know all this...but sometimes...it's hard to focus on that.

Halloween was a little bitter sweet for me too.. I had so many awesome moments with my girls..and I would think how my friend Shannon isn't getting to do this right now with her kids.

I know her family is probably having hard moments this week.

The empty seat at the table.

I missed her.. and felt sad for those
who are also missing her.

My prayer is that each of them, and each of you,

who are grieving over the loss of someone you love,

would feel peace and comfort. 

On the drive home to Pittsburgh,
as the girls slept, I was texting a friend of mine,
Tricia, who was also close with Shannon, (photographed below)

(She is the little sister of Anna of IHOD. love her too!)

I told her how I had been thinking of Shannon a lot that night and it made me

not want to take friendships for granted! I was thankful for the memories

and fun times we had had together..and even though we are states away..

and both busy with babies..I wanted to connect.

The loss of Shannon has helped me to realize how precious life is..

to take advantage of the moments we are given..

This Thanksgiving I was extra thankful
for the moments with my family..

conversations with friends..and even thankful
for the cross that I have been given.

I feel like the sadness of losing shannon has made my heart bigger, growing painfully, it opened my eyes more to the sadness that other people go through (empathy I guess..)

and even though some moments I feel overwhelmed with the loss, I try to focus on how thankful I am to have had Shannon in my life the years that I did.

I'm thankful for our silly moments together, our deep conversations,

our growing in faith together, our adventures of driving and getting lost in atlanta,

I use a hair product right now..that I used back in high school.

It's funny how smells can bring you right back..and I was using it one day

and remembered getting ready together in her bathroom.. :)

We ate somewhere the other day and I remembered always going there with her back in Atlanta.. Those moments I love. just remembering is healing me.

I pray for healing for all of you as well..

in whatever situation you might be in with losing someone.


These are photos from a Break during College. 
Tricia, Shannon and I decided to punk our friend
Ben who worked the late shift at Target as a Security Guard.....
That was a fun/funny night. :)

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving..

We spent Thanksgiving at my Grandparents' house and Cousins'..

My Parents and little brother and his new wife came up too!

It was so nice being all together..letting the little kids play..I'll share photos of all the fun on monday.. but today I had something else on my heart.

And I know I'm not the only one going through this during the Holidays. :)



To read all posts related to Shannon you can click here.
Please share her story..donate if you can.
If you have been touched by her story and would like to 
visit her Memorial Page you can visit here.